'W'asia, during AAPI month?
The NYC Wasian meet-up & SF ABG event from a Viet American
A white friend told me, word for word, that not everything is about race.
You might be wondering, what does that statement have to do with wasians?
In a generation of people who consistently tries to convince me that ‘it’s not that deep’, I don’t really need to think critically about the issue with ‘W’asia and so called ‘wasian pride’. I’ve been well aware of the painfully bitter connotation of wasian pride for a while—they are, of course, united by their whiteness and call it the point of utmost importance in their identity.
Unfortunately, I am an Asian who is chronically online and therein painfully aware of what’s been plaguing the community lately. Now, in no way am I a sociology major or a professional humanitarian, but I can tell my left from my right and ignorant from educated.
First, it started with the ‘ABG and ABB maxxing event’ (which, Jesus Christ, what a name) in San Francisco, a notoriously Asian part of the state, if not the U.S. The issue? Not a single ABG or ‘ABB’ (I question the validity of this label) in sight. White men and basic East Asians who are obviously Bay Area, but no real ABGs. Of course, it’s more difficult to be a true ABG now as the meaning has devolved into meaning an aesthetic that includes drinking boba, getting red ink dragon tattoos, vaping, going to raves, and doing a full beat of makeup daily. What I want to say is this: please don’t ever claim to be an ABG if you come from a wealthy suburban background and participate in AI tech start-ups. And please don’t advertise ABG makeup tutorials when you have no obvious grasp on what the style is actually like.
As an Asian American, I’ve come face to face with different forms of racism—microaggressions in the form of ew, what are you eating and where in Asia are you from? There’s a stereotype that all Asians are good at math which people call ‘harmless’ and ‘positive’—which, really, do you seriously believe that? Reveling in stereotypes doesn’t make you any more Asian than the next—it just makes you an uninteresting perpetuator. (I’ve had my fair share of laughs over the whole ABG maxxing situation, being that people have made painfully true online comments like—this is an AP Calculus meet-up, or this is a Key Club meeting. I can’t lie and say that the lack of individuality within the Asian American community needs to be studied. It should be a crime to be that boring.)
Asian women face hypersexualization, fetishization, and exoticization where we are seen as ‘exotic’ by our peers. I’ve heard jungle Asian in context to SEAs. I’ve heard the Oxford study (and the backlash is not holding up too well against this one, being that y’all love the whites). I’ve heard the model minority. I’ve heard it all. The ‘dragon lady’ (the hypersexual, deviant Asian temptress) and the ‘lotus blossom baby’ or ‘China doll’ (the desperate, hyper feminine, and sexually servile Asian woman) stereotypes are overdone. Japan, China, and Korea are not the only countries in the vast continent that is Asia. And Southeast Asians are not dirty or uneducated just because we might be a little more tan than the others and can’t afford typical ‘American’ experiences. ‘Asian’ is not a monolith. And still, Asians (wasians included, don’t worry), will continue to cater to whites by fetishizing themselves. Those I HEART MY ASIAN GF shirts you bought for your white boyfriends? Please don’t ever let me see them.
No, I don’t really care for Alysa Liu, or Hudson Williams, or Laufey, or Lola Tung, or Megan Skiendiel, or Martin from CORTIS, or Olivia Rodrigo when it comes to Asian representation. If wasians find the Laufey music video empowering, then that’s great. Now, as a Southeast Asian American, who is noticeably so and was raised by such Asians, I have no emotional connection to wasians and the Laufey music video that showcases her and her many wasian friends. The issue, here, is that the ‘w’ in wasian is always capitalized. Wasian. White first, and Asian as a point of interest. There’s really nothing wrong with wanting to be connected with your Asian roots. There’s just shame to be found in putting your whiteness to the forefront in comparison to your Asianness. Why not celebrate being Asian American rather than ‘w’asian?
My issue with the hot mess that is the NYC Wasian meet-up is this: why not include other mixed Asians? Why choose to showcase primarily Asians who are half-white and love to proclaim it from the rooftops? Because, maybe, if anyone daring to come to a so-called half Asian meet-up is darker than a paper bag (let me reference the Black community here), they’re seen as not as desirable?
I’ve heard mountains of stories from my African American friends of a white person saying the n word—among other offensive, racist things—and never being reprimanded for it. In fact, birds of a white feather flock together, so they never face real accountability, because their friends up their defense over anything else. I’ve grown well acquainted with the exhausting stories of Asians catering to their white peers and thinking it’s comedic or makes them fit in, somehow. (Spoiler alert, you aren’t any whiter just because you throw around slurs with them.)
We band together to disguise the ways we fight against white people in public, half as an inside joke between people of color and half in seriousness. We call white people ‘a certain demographic’ or simply Them (with a capital T). Because God forbid a white person accuse us of racism.
Wasians, selling your soul to increase your proximity to whiteness won’t make you any more accepted by white people. You also don’t need to mention your racial identity every thirty seconds.
What even constitutes a white person? Their fair skin? Their ancestry that leads back to slavery times, where, you guessed it, they aren’t on the right side of history? Sometimes you have to applaud how bold white people are in being wrong and rude. Their ability to refuse to acknowledge their privilege without being noticeably uncomfortable is a comedy stand-up routine that people of color face everyday. You live in a certain area, full of certain people, where your parents make above a certain amount each year, where they went to certain colleges, where they got certain degrees. You know. You’re part of a certain demographic.
Yes, you created a hierarchy that will probably never be undone and you will always be the main beneficiary of it, but hey. We’re all here to just serve your delicate white, fragile emotions around it. No, your proximity to whiteness is not changed just because you have friends who are people of color. No, your sexuality does not make you any closer to not being white.
If a wasian or white person feels offended by what I say, I’ll continue thinking: in the words of mad tsai, a hit dog will always holler. Someone with low racial self esteem will always call themselves out. No action necessary.
Just because you don’t have a beach house in a different state or don’t go skiing during Christmas break in your hundred dollar Lululemon leggings bought from your dad’s card, doesn’t make you not white. Just because you break a sweat once in a while at your minimum wage job doesn’t make you not white. You aren’t discriminated against just because you’re a brunette and ‘blondes have more fun’ or guys prefer blondes over brunettes. You can’t equate skin color to hair color, because one you can easily change, and the other has been the target of hatred since the beginning of time.
People of color should not have to cater to the gaze of white people. We shouldn’t have to dumb down our culture and translate ourselves for you. You don’t get to travel and expect the locals to speak a different language for you.
That same white friend asked me, why do you have to make everything about race?
I’m not tired of being angry. I don’t see myself ever growing tired of it, actually. If it means that it will motivate someone to change, then it was worthwhile.
Countless hate crimes are committed everyday. (A white person probably says a slur they can’t reclaim every second, too.) There’s redlining, wealth gaps, school funding, access to healthcare, food deserts, disproportionate policing, voter disenfranchisement, and so much more. Meanwhile, a wasian is organizing a meet-up to celebrate their whiteness and excluding every other mixed Asian available. Meanwhile, an East Asian American is celebrating how Asian they are to their white boyfriend and dumbing down SEA American cultural aspects.
But, sure. Not everything is about race.